I didn’t go to the gym at all last week. I wanted to, but couldn’t – actually I could have, but didn’t. I didn’t cause I got a bit freaked out by an injury that I didn’t get. It didn’t hurt during, and it didn’t hurt after, but it did hurt watching it.
That’s the problem when you film everything, you get to see the good stuff and the bad. And the bad stuff can have a terrible affect on the brain. In old skate videos, there always used to be a slam section, which is a collection of all the painful moments reached in attempting to make the full video. I always hated these, because I knew the dangers, I felt the failures frequently, and seeing other people failing didn’t help me clear my mind of ‘fear’ before attempting something.
So when I filmed ‘me’… and watched back a potentially painful, potentially ‘I’m giving up gym’ moment, it didn’t do good things. What it did do was suck all the motivation out of my body to the point whereby even considering going for a bit of a flip about, wasn’t an option.
I laid in bed that past week, each night with a tingling sensation in my knee. I knew I’d done something bad to it. I knew it, because I could feel ‘something’. Nothing specific, but it was there. I slept with a bent leg, because somehow it made me feel more comfortable. During the day, like whilst having lunch, I would continually touch my knee just to check that it was still there, still ok and intact. It still tingled. I love my knee’s just the way they are, I like the direction they operate in, and I like the fact that I’ve always been good to them and they’ve always been good to me.
I did one of those Jap-fronts on the main floor, I didn’t get enough height on the first, I made it round ok, but it wasn’t good. I tried another, that went equally as badly, but I shook it off because I was feeling good about the night. I was feeling bouncy and everything was going well. So I set up the camera once again, and this time chucked one with much more effort, expecting this to correct my faulting technique. But it didn’t. I should have realised that things weren’t right after the first 2 attempts. If I’d replayed the camera at that point, I would have seen my error and corrected it. But I didn’t.
I landed with a loud (like ‘heard across the gym’ loud) crack somewhere in my lower half. I didn’t know where it came from, all I know is my leg jarred into my hip and my ankle wobbled and I ‘almost’ hurt something. I checked below, and everything appeared in order, I bent my knee fully and all felt ok, I turned and looked at the coach who had her hand over her mouth and I could tell her jaw was open. ‘that didn’t sound good’ I said, ‘are you ok?’ she said. I could only answer with ‘I think so’. It was enough to satisfy her and prevent her running for the accident book and an icepack, but it wasn’t enough to convince me.
On replay, I could see it all in glorious slomo. I landed heel heavy on a straight leg, leaning back whilst having the momentum to still carry me forward. I’m certain a physics teacher could tell me everything about pressures and forces and energies that release themselves on the weakest point of a surface, but I didn’t need the technical explanation. I could see all my weight being applied on a straight limb and even more force being applied until the limb gave way and the knee, my knee, went sideways. Luckily the sideways it decided to go, was into the other knee, and not out towards the steps of the gym. I base that luck on the fact that my other knee was a few inches from the first, whilst the steps were about 15ft away. God knows what state I’d have been in if it decided to go over there.
Its the first time I’ve not enjoyed watching a high quality slomo (of me) (on my camera). And I still don’t know where the loud cracking noise came from – theres a part of me that doesn’t want to know either. I chilled for a bit, then continued flipping, tho only in the safe stuff (foam pits). I stayed away from the gym all week because of it. Its now 10 days later, and I’m sat here typing this and I can still feel it tingling away down there. I’m not at the gym tomorrow, because I have some extra curricular work happening, but Tuesday I plan to be back at it.
I will be taking it easy. It will be on my mind, and I will not be watching the footage again, or posting it on youtube. I should stop for another week, at least until it returns to feeling normal again, but I can’t… and that’s probably to do with the fact the new company I’ve started working for has given me private medical care (BUPA), and for those of you that have watched Sicko, you’ll have some comfort that our National Health Service isn’t too bad after all, so the private service ‘should’ be a little bit better still.
So then, until Tuesday… Love your knee’s – they’re the only ones you’ll ever get. Which isn’t strictly true, because you can have knee replacements these days, but you get what I mean.
adios – mark
btw – I decide to insert a photo of some happy cute puppies, to ofset the bad karma that may have imbalanced the planet during the making of this post. I thank you, and good night.